it's been awhile

so i realize i haven't blogged since june. i could give you the easy excuse of it was summer and i'm a youth minister, or things have just been really busy at church the last few months. but im not going to mostly i havent cause i just havent had the urge to write. i havent known what i really wanted to say or how i could get my true feelings across in coded language so that nothing i wrote could be misinterpreted or twisted and used against me. but i feel like its time to write again. even now i still dont know what i truly want to say except that i am stubburnly holding on to hope. other than that my son is awesome and taking his first few steps, this past month my dad(whos a missionary in new zealand) met jonas for the first time he is 10 months old now. that was awesome. i guess that is part of the cost of following the call to go and make disciples, that my dad and i and now jonas have to pay; a lack of time spent together, a likely disconnected relationship between grandson and grandfather. man at times it feels like a steep price to pay but it is a price im willing to pay for the sake of the call. there is all kinds of other things going on right now, but i want to reminisce a little about last weekend; i got to go back to socal and surf and spend time with my dad and my brother as well as many other characters from my childhood. i cannot tell you how much good surfing does for my soul. back before i went to lcu i was living in huntington beach, i was surfing on avg 3-5 times a week and about 2 hrs at a time. those few years were some of the darkest spiritually lonely times of my life so far. but in surfing i found a way to bask in the presence of God. i would paddle out, sit on my board, ride waves, and all the time be praying and singing and talking to God. i didnt really have a church family at that time so my intimate time of communion with God was spent in those 6-10 hrs(give or take depending on the week). since i've moved to phx i have tried to get in the water as often as i can. i love to surf, riding down the face of a hollow 6 ft face is breathtaking. but that is only part of it, for me i love the whole experience of surfing. from standing on the shore donut and coffee in hand checking the surf, figuring out where its breaking best and the easiest place to paddle out is, to the suiting up in the parking lot waxing the board. and then entering the ocean and that first duck under a wave as the cold water washes away most of my cares and worries, then the frantic paddle to make it out past the breakers, then the waiting and watching patience building time as you sit in eager anticipation for the next set to roll in. and then manuvering into the right position, then you paddle and as soon as you feel the wave start to carry the board you stand up and you ride down the face feeling more alive more in the moment that the few seconds feel like a brief eternity, each ride etched into you memory. and then you paddle back and out do it all again the eager anticipation and the fullness of the moment it is nothing short of divinley epic. and it does wonders for healing the soul it helps me quite down so that i can hear His soft whispers into my heart and into life. jesus often withdrew to lonely mountain places to be in the presence of God my lonely mountain was found surfing.

this one will be short

so kendra myself and taylor just drove all night to be back in lubbock for a wedding. we rotated drivers but all still tired so nap time here i come. will post again later.

feels strangely like home???

this is just going to be a short post i hope to have more this week as i chronicle my adventures at encounter this year. so last night kendra and i drove back into lubbock for the first time since we moved to phx. and it is strange returning here. it almost felt like we were just coming home from a long weekend. this place is not our home anymore and if you pardon the C of C hymn reference "we are just a passing thru" but it is a strange realization that this place which when i moved here originally was only supposed to be 2 years which became 6 has some how weaseled its way in and buried itself into an area of my heart causing me to have fond warm feelings for it. oh well i gotta go i have a ton of things to do. ill be back as soon as i have something else to say

Gearing up for Summer...

So its been a couple weeks since i blogged and the last one was about our fun hit and run experience. Well we've been rocking a rented pt cruiser for the last few weeks and we are supposed to get our car back this week which will be nice cause it gets like 10 miles more to the gallon than the cruiser. And since friday kendra jonas and i are leaving phoenix to head to ENCOUNTER, the added fuel economy is a bonus. Lets see what to update you on, first off Jonas will be 7 months old tomorrow and hes awesome. he's sitting up and saying blah blah blah alot he can crawl in reverse hasnt figured out how to go forward yet. I cant wait for encounter i've been thinking and eagerly anticipating it since last summer. then the next weekend ill be back in lubbock for my buddies wedding. should be a blast... i mean come on we are getting the band back together and everything, and enjoying the spiritual discipline of celebration. i need to go now cause i have a ton to do before friday, but i want to leave you with this... a couple of weeks ago i went to a seminar at Bethel Seminary in san diego entitled "henri nouwen: reflections for therapists on health and hospitality" first off it was awesome it, most of you know i love henri's books this seminar was presented by a guy who had been a teaching fellow of henris at harvard. he took us thru henris book lifesigns which i hadnt read before and is well worth the read. but he gave us this quote from henri that has stuck with me and now i want to share it with you. "If John wrote so that you may believe, I have to teach in the same way." i thought this was brilliant in its simplicity.

An Open Letter

This is an open letter to he or she who hit us last night and then ran off. So if by some miracle you read this, this is all i have to say to you. Ok, so how do i begin this? first, if your conscience is bothering you we are all ok. although you gave my 6 month old son the biggest startle of his young life as you hit the back panel and went flying by the window he was sitting next too. second, i'm sure you feel like you had a great reason for running after you hit us, and im sure you sat around last night with your friends telling them how because some moron was stopped on the freeway you heroically had to swerve to save your life. albeit that this was your fault and that you were going way over the posted 45 mph limit when you torn into the back panel on the passenger side of my car. i need to apologize to you. once i checked to see if my son was ok, i started thinking about what if you had hit us a little more head on, what if he had been hurt, what if you had stopped. what would i do to you. i have to apologize because i killed you in my heart a few times before i realized, that this what if scenario hadn't actually happened. that God had protected my family, because inches to the left and we would have been in serious trouble. i realized i was justifying what i would say when the cop showed up, "my son was injured and i lost it, i couldn't control myself, it was done in the heat of the moment." it doesn't matter what my justification is or would be. i am called to a higher standard. and for failing to live up to that standard i apologize. please forgive me. don't worry i have forgiven you too and if we ever meet up, i'd love to sit down and talk with you over a meal or a cup of coffee and hear how what happened that night just west of queen creek on the 10, has impacted your life.

sorry it's been awhile

so i realized today its been almost two and a half weeks since i've blogged. so i apologize. well lets see what have i been up to my in-laws have been here, i bought a grill so i've been grilling, i've been studying, reading, being, watching my son develop an awesome personality. thats it in a nutshell. but i have to say i am so excited. tomorrow im taking off to dallas tx on my days off so i can see my buddies, members of the elite society A-List. guys who could also be members of the M.E. if they didn't live in tx. we have a tradition when one of us gets engaged we journey to our sacred place. Dublin Texas, the home of the oldest Dr. Pepper factory. and i cannot wait it will be much fun.

In Memory of Dr. King

John Legends cover of U2's song "In the name of the love". tell me what you think